The mediator is responsible for managing the session and will use agreed ground rules to help it run smoothly. You are each given the opportunity to have your say, to respond and to discuss as civilly and amicably as possible everything you want to raise in relation to making decisions and moving forward.
It is a future focused discussion avoiding dwelling in the past and raising fault or blame.
You decide the agenda for discussion.
Putting the Children’s Needs First
You make all the decisions. Any decisions concerning the children are based on what the children need. Sometimes this may be at odds with what parents want to do, but as the adults responsible for the children, the Mediator will remind you that children’s’ needs are at the heart of all discussions.
Financial Common Goals
If you need to agree on a financial settlement, unless you are very wealthy it is rare to be able to have what you want. Being realistic, it costs more to run two homes than it does to run one. Often there is not enough in the matrimonial pot to give you both what you want, which is when you will be encouraged to look at your respective needs and what is fair and reasonable.
Wherever possible the mediator will help you to agree on common goals and outcomes, and to consider what you may need to do differently to achieve them. If there is a gap in your expectations for moving forward, either with children or finances you will be encouraged to consider a compromise.
Mediation works best when you both make the choice to attend, are willing to listen to one another, are prepared to put the needs of the children first, and willing to be fair to one another. You are making decisions together for the benefit of the whole family.