The mediator is responsible for managing the session and will use agreed ground rules to help it run smoothly. You are each given the opportunity to have your say, to respond and to discuss as civilly and amicably as possible everything you want to raise in relation to moving forward.
The mediator does this by remaining independent, impartial, non-judgmental.
Mediation is confidential and legally privileged (can’t be used in court).
It is a future-focused discussion avoiding dwelling in the past and raising fault or blame.
You decide the agenda for discussion.
You make all the decisions. Any decisions concerning the children are based on what the children need. Sometimes this may be at odds with what parents want to do, but as the adults responsible for the children, the Mediator will remind you that children’s needs are at the heart of all discussions.
If you need to agree on a financial settlement, unless you are very wealthy it is rare you will each be able to have what you want. Being realistic, it costs more to run two homes than it does to run one. As often there is not enough in the matrimonial pot to give you both what you want, you will be encouraged to look at your respective needs and to agree on what is fair and reasonable . If the gap in your respective expectations cannot be bridged by a compromise agreed in mediation, it is likely that this financial gap will be swallowed up by the cost of a court application or ongoing legal action.
Common Goals and Outcomes
Wherever possible the mediator will help you to agree on common goals and outcomes, and to consider what you may each need to do differently to achieve them. If there is a gap in your expectations for moving forward, either with children or finances you will be encouraged to consider a compromise.
Putting the Needs of the Children First
